Leyendo de dolor

Leyendo el Dolor "El venado herido de Frida Kahlo"

137

Una escritora cuyo nombre es el de: una habitación propia, que encontré en la web, para integrar un párrafo con respecto al cuadro de Frida Kahlo: El venado herido o La Venadita. Me dejó sorprendido por su capacidad de expresar su dolor en una forma muy personal pero al mismo tiempo tan presente y tan real. La transcribo.

“Conocemos la historia de Frida; Algo, por lo menos. – Sabemos que toda su vida padeció dolores físicos (y sentimentales) profundos. Le costaba moverse, estar parada. Las flechas clavadas en su cuerpo, la sangre que brota a partir de ellas y su mirada adolorida pero calma, de quien ya conoce el dolor, de quien se siente abatida por el mismo, desesperanzada, me recuerdan a episodios de mi vida en los cuales tengo que vivenciar el dolor”.

“No voy a ahondar en las razones fisiológicas ni en el diagnóstico médico que explican mi dolor, porque me interesa la experiencia que yo puedo elaborar con el mismo. Sin ponerle el nombre correcto del diagnóstico”.

“Mis dolores empezaron desde mi adolescencia. Intensos y duraderos. Y continúan hasta el día de la fecha. Son episódicos, pero hay etapas durante el año y hay circunstancias que los disparan. El hecho de sentir tanto dolor muchas veces me hace pensar si conocemos nuestros dolores, en general. Si conectamos con ellos, si nos lo permiten y si nos los permitimos. En general, sentir dolor es algo que hay que evitar. El adormecimiento que producen algunos químicos es adorable cuando llevamos días de dolores intensos. Sin embargo ¿no hay diferencias en el dolor?”

Yo como médico puedo decir, que las hay y muy variadas, desde el dolor postrauma, neurológico, mielítico, isquémico, etc.; independientemente de su duración, frecuencia intensidad, etc.; es una hidra de cien cabezas.

“El cansancio de la mirada de ese venado, de Frida, el cansancio angustiado de ese cuerpo herido, inmóvil, exhausto, que se ha dado por vencido, lo he sentido. Sin embargo, pienso que es ese mismo cansancio la potencia que la lleva a pintar ese cuadro que perdura. Que transmite, que me transmite hoy su dolor que es el mío, en parte”.

“El dolor, no es un impedimento. Lo cual no significa que debamos sufrirlo, ni tampoco que no haya que buscar los medios para aplacarlo. Pero es posible en el dolor encontrar las fuerzas para elaborar experiencias, para afectarse con el dolor de la otra persona, para conectarnos con nuestro cuerpo, que siempre aparece en un segundo plano, como algo secundario con lo cual hay que lidiar. El dolor me recuerda que tengo un cuerpo que sufre, me recuerda que yo sufro y me deterioro por dentro.

El dolor me recuerda, y esto mucho más en momentos en los cuales no puedo estar detenida por del padecimiento, que la gente no quiere saber que algo nos duele, que estamos sufriendo, que necesitamos ayuda, pero también que podemos encontrar los gestos más sencillos de inmensa empatía y solidaridad,  y de afecto”.

En el texto La muerte de Iván Ilich de León Tolstoi, encontramos al dolor como un absurdo:) . Ilich agoniza con dolores terribles y se pregunta constantemente por ese sentido del dolor. Tolstoi lo retrata como un hombre burgués y burocrático que padece un final atormentado por el dolor, el desamparo de su familia, o el reflejo de su vida sin sentido. Un retrato realista, que también encontramos en textos de Dostoievsky o Chejov. Sin embargo, para pensar el dolor es interesante traer a colación este absurdo que tan bien retrata el escrito ruso.

“¿Para qué este padecimiento? ¿Por qué no morir y listo, sin más preámbulos? Parte de este sin salida del dolor tiene que ver, entiendo, con la desconexión con el propio cuerpo. Pero también con la sensación de tortura que comienzan a generar días y meses y hasta años de dolor constante. Llega un punto en el cual nos interrogamos si no sería mejor morirnos. No he llegado hasta ese punto, pero lo entiendo. Nuevamente la pregunta es ¿qué experiencias sacamos de este dolor? ¿Para qué? ¿Por qué?”

“Estas preguntas traen a colación el conflicto entre la calidad o la cantidad de (la) vida. El dolor puede medirse o puede sentirse. Cuando nos medicamos porque nos duele la cabeza es un acto simple, casi automático, sin mediación sabemos que determinado medicamento nos alivia de ese tormento que no nos permite, principalmente, tener una vida productiva o producir, lisa y llanamente.

Nos cuesta encontrar respuestas a las preguntas ¿por qué? y ¿para qué? porque remiten a la cualidad.

A algo que se mantiene lejos, que no sabemos bien de qué se trata. La cualidad está, un poco, en lo que decía sobre las vivencias que podemos hallar en el dolor, está en el encuentro con la solidaridad o el egoísmo de las otras personas, en la experiencia del alivio, que acrecienta nuestra satisfacción, en, si hacemos el esfuerzo, el reencuentro con el cuerpo olvidado. Encontrar las respuestas es poder decir sufro dolor, pero puedo escribir esto, Frida, pudo pintar cuadros y retratar ese dolor; puedo filmar o cantar o bailar, transmitirlo, verlo plasmado, someterlo a un observador o un lector. Un quien externo”.

“Tanto Frida como yo somos mujeres, sujetas a que, general e históricamente son ignoradas en su dolor, por ser considerado como cosa siempre menor. Cuando nos enfrentamos con el dispositivo médico, muchas de nosotras hemos sufrido la indiferencia del profesional que tenemos delante.

¿Cómo tener la voluntad de seguir yendo a la institución que nos humilla? Indiferencia que nace desde la elaboración política de que las mujeres exageran, mienten, engañan y buscan llamar la atención.

Si recordamos la historia de Occidente encontramos que las mujeres en la Edad Media eran quienes conocían las formas de curar las enfermedades y tratar los padecimientos a través de las hierbas, los preparados, sabían sobre el cuidado del cuerpo con ungüentos, formaron alianzas de ayuda mutua desde la anticoncepción hasta el embarazo y el parto”.

“A partir del comienzo de la Modernidad y la introducción de un modo de vida capitalista (de acumulación, división del trabajo (sexual también) y producción desmedida) es que las mujeres se ven expropiadas y apartadas (a través de un violento proceso) de ese conocimiento y ese estatuto, y son reemplazadas por médicos varones, que mantienen un trato distante con los cuerpos, y que condenan las alianzas y comunidades de mujeres. Todo esto lo traigo a colación aquí, a este texto, para mostrar cómo es que este olvido del propio cuerpo, esta desconexión con el propio dolor y de cómo tratarlo no está desvinculado del modo de vida capitalista y moderno que se impuso durante los siglos XV y XVI  tanto en Europa como en Latinoamérica y que continúa hasta nuestros días”.

“Nuestra relación con el dolor es política. Pensar en el padecimiento físico es un modo de repensar nuestros modos de vida y los dispositivos de control sobre nuestros cuerpos”.

“Pensar en el dolor, como pensar en la enfermedad no es algo que haya encontrado demasiado en la historia de la filosofía, que es mi campo de formación. En general puede que sea porque se han entendido como pasiones privadas, íntimas, no universales. Sin embargo yo no me despego de mi dolor, no me desconecto. Cuando tengo que trabajar o estudiar lo hago adolorida, cuando tengo que elaborar y escribir, lo hago desde ese estado. Más allá de cuidarme, tomarme el tiempo que necesite, armarme de paciencia para comprender que no puedo. Que no puedo hacer todo porque no vale la pena sufrir tanto. Más allá de eso, cuando pienso o escribo o hablo o cuestiono también lo hago desde ese padecimiento”.

“Las flechas van a seguir ahí, la sangre va a seguir corriendo. Pero ese bosque que rodea al ciervo, a Frida, a mí. Ese bosque seco que impide que llegue una ayuda del exterior, violenta y alienante. Ese bosque interno que se construye a causa de un exterior cuantitativo que se mantiene reticente a tratar de manera íntima y cualitativa con nuestro dolor, es un bosque que también nos protege o nos puede llegar a proteger de caer en la garras de la productividad desmedida. Un bosque que nos puede proteger y darnos el tiempo, para poder elaborar y vivenciar, a partir de las fuerzas que nos surjan, nuestras experiencias vitales”.

 

 

Dr. José Luis Sánchez Mejía

Ortopedia y Traumatología

(1)            Tolstoi, León. La muerte de Ivan Ilich. Navarra: Salvat Editores, 1969, p. 74

(2)            https://domineinfantiumliberame.wordpress.com/2018/01/19/el-venado-herido/

 

 

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